The order of things

I'm almost at the grocery store and I start through my mental check list: reusable grocery bags -check, grocery list - check, quarter for cart - check, club card and airmiles...in my wallet, which is in my purse, which is (looking wildly around while keeping my attention on the road and feeling in all the usual places such as the passenger seat, nope, in basket by my seat, nada, behind basket, zip, hmm must be with the grocery bags behind passenger seat...ok what was I doing before I left, I was on the phone - mental walkthtough of leaving the house...coat, keys, shoes, grab list and bags, open garage, get in van, get off phone, drive away - oh no!! Purse sitting on shelf by washing machine, I forgot to grab it. Have I mentioned that due to an unexpected delay I had 40 minutes to get groceries and have supper on the table by 5 so we could get to my son's potentially last game of the hockey season? No food at home for supper, can't get groceries without money (thankful I discovered missing purse prior to standing at the checkout with groceries rung through and trying to explain myself) but what to do now? Call for pizza :-) I have cash at home I can leave for hubby to pay pizza delivery when I turn around back to home to get the missing purse. That way my family can eat pizza while I get groceries. This buys me another 20 minutes. Disaster averted!

I had plenty of time to think on my extended outing and due to recent events, my mind wandered to my unending endeavours to put things in order.  Much like missing the step of actually picking up my purse, I seem to have a tendency to lay out this perfect plan and then forget a step or do one out of order and suddenly my plan is seemingly useless. I struggle with this almost daily as I face feelings of failure and disappointment then try to restore order by finding one thing I can take control of - completing a specific task, doing some cleaning, cooking, or even moving furniture. This provides me with a fleeting feeling of satisfaction and then I remember, it's not all about my plans. My loving God has much bigger plans for my life and even when I feel that things got out of order He is still in control and I need to step back and let Him be; after all, who better to know the orders of things?

God, help me to keep you first when I am so busy trying to order things in my life and show trust in Your plan by allowing You to have control.