Wordless Wednesday - Dazzling Dancer

This was our trial run at hair at make up for her recital this coming Sunday.

Linked to:

Wordless Wednesday

Good Habits - the basics of routine

First of all, a quick thank you to all that have stopped in to my little spot in this expansive online world. I have enjoyed exploring many of your blogs and look forward to reading future posts. I am doing my best to transition into this online world of friendships, information sharing, and relating but am still not yet consistently finding a good time to write. There are days that are over before I have a chance to put any thoughts to paper and I have had to be forgiving to myself so that I dont get caught up in feelings of failure. Now, instead of dwelling on the negative let me move on to sharing some positive from this week.

Good habits, hard to form, easy to break. Since I wrote my post last week about my HMB I have been carefully evaluating what habits I have (or dont have or that I would like to have) and how they would fit into a workable routine. I thrive on schedules and routines and do not adjust quickly to changes in either. Albiet, this is something I have had to work on with having four children and a sometimes spontaneous husband. Review of my existing, unusable, HMB revealed my routine lists to be much too long. This is mostly because of the extensive list of ideal habits I was hoping to form. Also, I never gave myself adequate time to complete everything on my list. Granted, if I had a perfectly uninterupted moring I know I could probably get through the list in the alloted time; however, rare is the day that that happens. More often than not, I have one or two little ones swarming around me before I am ready to get out of bed nevermind work my way through my over-zealous list of routines. So, I have decided to change my approach.

Instead of creating a new routine from scratch and then attempting to force my life into it, I have decided to journal the natural routines I do have. Now, this does vary day-to-day and some days work better than others and some days leave me feeling more satisfied in what I did. Here are some of the basic things I always (or near always) do on a daily basis:
Morning
- be the first one up to get the house ready for the day
- make my husbands lunch
- bring him coffee
- feed kids as they wake
Mid-Day
- pick-up toys
- feed kids lunch
- quick tidy kitchen
Evening
- pick-up main floor
- ensure dishwasher is unloaded before dinner
- dinner
- clearing table and washing dishes
Before Bed
- set coffee maker
- run dishwasher
- make sure my kitchen sink is empty

I have been experimenting with adding other things like starting a load of laundry in the morning with the goal of having it put away by evening, getting the dishwasher unloaded in the morning so the dishes don`t pile up in the sink during the day, and making sure I have some good personal maintenance habits. Having functioned as a sleep deprived, over-demanded, mother for the past 6 years, personal maintenance has been low on my list. My priority has been on being there to meet my kids needs and having a functioning house. My girls are getting older and I am now realizing that it is important that they see me taking care of myself so that they can develop their own healthy habits and self-image.

This week, I would like to be more consistent with a few of these habits and perhaps try a few others to find out what works for me instead of taking somebody elses routines and feeling disappointed when they don`t work for me. They are not supposed to. They can be a great jumping off point to get me headed in the right direction but I need to have something that is proven to work in my life. So, that is my little challenge to me this week is to get some workable routines in place and start using them, then tweaking them, then tossing them out if they don`t work and trying something else.

Please feel free to share your routines, or other methods that help you get through your daily got-to-do list.

Wordless Wednesday - you fit where?

My beautiful daughters. 

Playing hide-and-seek. It took me a while to find them hiding here.

The three year old discovered she fit into the cheerio box and the five year old had to try too.

Linked: Wordless Wednesday, Sakura Haruka

Teaching our children

This past weekend my eldest turned 11. Where has the time gone? He is already counting down to when he will be driving and fully embracing this growing up thing while his momma is nearly frozen with panic as I realize my chubby cheeked baby boy is no more. I keep telling him I am not ready to be the mother of a teenager so he better stop growing right now. Part of me grieves as he leaves the innocent part of his childhood behind (no more Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy) and another part is fearful of the upcoming changes of puberty and how that will change our relationship. There is a small, yet proud part of my heart, that sees the wonderful man he will one day be and I pray that he will continue to seek God's will for his life.

Proudly showing off his silver medal from Calgary Youth Science Fair last month

and in need of a haircut :-o

Almost daily I am reminded of how precious the time is that our children are ours to teach and with my son turning 11 I feel this window beginning to close. School, friends, and teams become greater influences as he becomes old enough to independently be in situations not directly under my supervision. This is when I need to remember to turn him back over to the Lord and pray that I have done my job of mother well. It is hard not to worry but God is bigger then all my fears and He is watching over my children. My 3yo often says, "I was scared and then I remembered God was with me and I knew I could do it." This could apply to a dark room, the climbing wall at the playground, a bad dream, or any other moment she feels hesitant. She is so secure in her belief that God is physically with her that it refreshes my faith and encourages me that maybe I am doing something right.

I often feel overwhelmed with everything I want to instill in my children and whether it is working or not but one lesson I have learned is that I do better when I choose one or two things to really focus on and be consistent with those. We sort of cycle through a couple of skill sets as I attempt to raise my children in a way that is honoring to God. Some areas we focus on are:

• Ways to connect and spend time with God
• devotions
• bible stories
• prayers
• Sunday services
• Loving one another and ourself
• intentionally saying "I love you" everyday to each family member
• acts of service both within our family and for others
• recognizing our individual value
• self-maintenance
• Homemaking
• chores
• routines
• work skills
• menu planning and meal preparation
• Arts/extra-curricular
• piano lessons
• hockey
• dance
• skating
• gymnastics
• swimming

These are the bigger picture areas of focus but in addition to these I am daily doing my best, with God's guidance, to teach my children the little things too. Things like serving joyfully, showing respect, being patient and kind.

What are some things you desire to teach your children? How do you do this?

"These words I am commanding you today must be kept in mind, and you must teach  them to your children and speak of them as you sit in your house, as you walk along the road,   as you lie down, and as you get up." Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Please visit these other sites I have linked up with
 Time Warp Wife, Teach Me Tuesday, Heart + Home Link up, 
Wise Woman Link up, Encourage One Another Link up

Home Management Binder - does yours work?

Ever hear of a Home Management Binder? or Control Center? Well, a few years back I first heard of this concept and was quick to jump on board. Basically, it is a way to organize all your everyday papers that would otherwise clutter your desk, kitchen counter, or fridge and make them easily accessible. I love organizing so this tool held great appeal. Over several months, I put my binder together one piece at a time. I created all the relevant tabs and collected the required documents. I even found lovely pictures and scripture references to title each section. There were schedules/routines, menu planning/recipes, address book, emergency info, Christmas planner, books/education...I also detailed our important dates and holidays breaking down typical activities (or things I would like to do), menus, and for the big holidays like Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas I even typed out the readings I thought we should share. In short, I put together a very detailed book and loved the process.

Then reality came knocking. It has been 5 years now and about every 6 months I pull my binder out, revamp the schedules, and successfully use it for a week or two or maybe even a month before it gets shoved once more in a corner. Life is much calmer and organized when I am using my HMB so why do I let it slip? I believe it comes down to unrealistic expectations and fear of failure. I filled my HMB with my idealistic version of events and not what was real for our everyday lives. Also, what was real for us then (dual-income, two kids) is no longer relevant. How I can expect myself to do the same things the same way as I did back then is ridiculous. Every time I open that binder I am reminded of all the things I thought we would be doing but never did; in other words, I feel like I have failed. I see all the well laid plans and question why I never did follow through.

I still believe this is a great tool and I know that my family works better on a schedule with predictable routines. I know I am much calmer when I have a plan in place. So, as I approach my bi-annual revisit to my HMB I have concluded that it is time to dump the binder and start fresh. I will endeavor to keep my goals within reach and not set such lofty expectations. After all, what is the point of having a great tool if you never use it.

Have you ever used a HMB? Did you stick with it? How often do you update/revise your HMB?

I will be trying to clean through one section a week until I have something I will actually use. Check back each Thursday for a progress report as I figure out through trial and error what works for me. If you are interested in creating a HMB of your own there are many templates and samples. I will try to add a few links to this later but right now the kids are home from school so its back to my #1 calling.

Wordless Wednesday - Sweet Baby

It was finally warm enough this week to enjoy frozen treats outside. I think he likes it :-)

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." - 3 John 1:4

Home with My Kids

It is my hope that by sharing this piece of my story another woman may be encouraged to wait upon the Lord and His timing. There have been many long days, weeks, months. Times of questioning and doubting. Moments of reflection and refocusing. We serve a great and mighty God who sees our big picture even when we are stuck in the everyday and if we wait upon Him we will be rewarded.

My journey of coming home began 4 years ago as I was at the start of a maternity leave for my third child. Following the birth and blessed one year leave we get in Canada of my first two, I had returned back to my downtown job in the oil and gas industry. I liked the work and the people too but as challenged as I was, I never felt satisfied and would frequently find myself daydreaming of what I could be doing if I was at home with my kids. I was in a very fortunate position to have my mother looking after them so it was never a question of the care they were receiving but my struggles with the fact that I was not the one providing it.

This particular maternity leave forced me to lay my hopes and dreams on the table for discussion with my husband. He absolutely saw the benefit of me being home to care for our children but reality was it would cause us great financial strain and no matter how much he supported me if we could not pay the bills it just would not be feasible. My journey from that point forward became two-fold. I knew I wanted to be home with our children and needed to physically find a way to do so and I knew that I had to have faith and believe that if being home is what God intended for me then He would lead me to the right path.

I am just a little bit of a control freak (hey, before kids I was much worse but trust me having four kids there is no way you are in control of everything always) so letting go of my plans enough to let God nudge me in the right direction was hard. Over these past 4 years of working towards my goal of being home with my children, I have been drawn closer to the home and life that God would have me lead. I had wandered and strayed and avoided but now I am finally finding my way back into a fulfilling relationship with God and wow has it had its blessing on my family.

God did open doors and I began running a private dayhome finding new clients from recommendations. The income source was enough to allow me to be at home for my children but because most of my dayhome kids were little (under 4) and demanded so much care I have never really felt like I achieved the goal of being home with my children. I have spent much of the past year praying over how this could ever be a reality but God knew my heart and provided once again. This past fall, my husband got a new job, something he had been actively pursuing for over a year, that has allowed me to give notice to my final dayhome client.

I am so thrilled that in a little over a month, I will finally be able to say that I am home with my kids. I thank God daily for working his timing and plans for our lives and I know that so long as I am seeking His will He will provide.

Titus 2sday Link Up Party

Affirmed

I have not been the only one struggling with my upcoming transition. My husband approached me last night with some things that had been on his mind he wanted to discuss. He starts the conversation with a precaution that "it wont be easy" and "its not going to make you money" but "I want you to find something that fulfills you" and then he tells me he knows what I should do next. Ready for it? "I think you should blog," he says. Can we say AFFIRMED?! He has always been supportive of my decisions and done what ever he can to help me succeed but I had not talked with him specifically about blogging as an outlet for my passion to write but simply that writing is what I wanted to do. It was very affirming to me that he independently came to the same place I did with how to face this transition. I suppose that leaves the matter settled and now I get to dig in and make the most of this opportunity.

I am sure that things will feel a little jumbled at first as I tinker with formats, topics, frequency and work on finding a place in the blogging community. So, if you happen to stumble upon this blog during this formative stage please take a moment if you would and provide me some feed back or suggestions. I anticipate most of my content will come from the daily management of our household with the occasional product review, printable, rant or other creative release through writing that strikes my fancy.

With great joy and anticipation for this next chapter in life,
Amber

Pursue Your Heart

Ok, lets try this again.

I really feel passionately that I am supposed to write so why is it that every time I recommit to the upkeep of this blog I fail? Yes, life is busy and yes, there are distractions; however, that does not excuse me from neglecting this desire. Bottom line? I am terrified. I am scared stiff that somehow I will mess this up or that I am unqualified or that in someway I will not measure up to the imaginary standards I assume others will hold me to. I have always loved writing and figured it would be a part of my career in some way or in the more romanticized versions I had of my future, I was a weekend novelist. I would picture my self closed up in a cabin at some remote location writing for hours or days just trying to get the words on the page as fast as they were evolving before they drifted away never again to be recaptured. I feel peaceful even now as I revisit these images now long since shoved ungracefully into the dark corners of my life.

Life changing events are often precipitated by a trigger and an ah-ha moment. I was recently fortunate to have one of these. I gave notice to the last of my dayhome families (trigger) and that night had the opportunity to take some time out of the house on my own. I was driving and reflecting on this impending change. I have been running my dayhome for 3 years and it has provided for my necessary financial contribution to our household. My husband has recently changed industries and this is what has given us the freedom to close the dayhome. I loved doing it, having all those kids around, the interaction it provided for my children and many other aspects but I chose not to return to the general work force so that I could be home with my children. I was doing this to some degree but I do not feel like I have been able to give my children all my love, focus, and attention that they deserve with having so many extra little ones around. I feel revived knowing that God has led us to a place in life where this is possible and so I asked him "What is next?" Now, I know God speaks, I believe I have heard him before, but I was honestly a little shocked when clear as a summer's sky came the answer (ah-ha moment) "PURSUE YOUR HEART".

I have spent the past several days contemplating this simple phrase. I have broken it down, defined it, and dug into it to better grasp the meaning. "PURSUE": to chase, to hunt, to follow these are some of the common words when you go for the dictionary definition. I had a more difficult time with the "YOUR HEART" part of the answer. What is my heart's desire? Where does my passion lay? What are my talents? I love to see people grow, I love to write, I want mothers in every point of their journey to know that they are not alone and that they can do it. This all seems pretty clear until my self-doubt starts to creep in and I start asking who am I to fulfill this role, what qualifies me to reach out to these women, why would my opinion matter? Then in a moment of quiet I hear God leading me again. "I have qualified you. I have blessed you with your life just the way it is so that you may be able to relate to those whom I will use you to reach for my glory."

Wow! If God is for me then none can stand against me. I henceforth commit my life and my words to his glory. May He use me to his purpose.

In Christ's Love,

Amber