I am mother

I have been working hard to instill confidence in my children and give them a strong believe in their self worth. I think that children learn so much more through the examples they interact with than any words we can direct at them. I also have experienced that because of this they make wonderful mirrors of those around them as they reflect back and put into practice what they are learning through their observations. This is how I came to realize my lack of confidence and self-esteem and quickly adopted a plan to remedy such malady.

I saw my children questioning their choices and actions. I watched them heaitate or straight out decline to participate in events with their peers. I heard them struggle to speak to when addressed. These are certainly not traits I was intentionally teaching them so what was the source of this behaviour?

It took me a long time to identify that what I saw in them was reflective of how they saw me and how they perceived I saw myself. What an eye-opener that moment of revelation was. I knew I had been struggling (still am) but had not recognized the impact this was having on the impressionable little minds in my world. 

The plan was to develop a simple set of affirmative statements that I would say to them (thus providing a positive example) and then have them repeat these affirmations (thereby putting into practice these new concepts). We began with four simple ideas and then I ask an open-ended statement that they are to complete with a positive quality or strength they see in themself. At present, our affirming statements are:

1) You are smart.

2) You are kind. 

3) You are strong. 

4) You are loved. 

They took to this new step in our bedtime routine with incredible ease and with only a few weeks behind us I can already identify changes in behaviour. It has also been a good challenge to me, especially when they decided to turn the open-ended statement back to me. After careful consideration, these are my current affirmations:

1) I am confident. 

2) I am able. 

3) I am deserving. 

4) I am mother. 

I am a work in progress and He is still working on me but I am providing my children with a healthier example and for that I am grateful. 

What are you or would you benefit from intentionally working to improve?